The One Where I Feel Like a Really Horrible Person

I am really short with my kids. I yell. A lot. Particularly at Max. The little annoying behaviors just build and build until I blow up. I know it’s not healthy for any of us, but I don’t have any alternative strategies.

Max doesn’t have an Autism diagnosis, nor does he have a diagnosis of ADHD or any other similar type of disorder but he exhibits many of the same behaviors. And to be completely honest, they drive me crazy. I find them to be really annoying.

I know that’s not the politically correct thing to say or the way a parent is supposed to feel about her child. I know it’s not his fault, I really do. The arm flapping and spitting are not terribly difficult to deal with. I can overlook those most times though it breaks my heart to see his younger brother or cousin mimic him…not in a teasing way, just in the “monkey see, monkey do” way that toddlers have.

It’s the lack of a “calm body”. I’ve ready books about active boys and I know hyperactivity is common in young boys. I’m seeking out help from his doctor for behavior modification suggestions. But for now, we can’t get through a book without him elbowing or kicking me in the gut or shin or face. We don’t get through a meal without spilled water or milk. When he eats yogurt, it’s all over his shirt, pants, the table. His body is riddled with bruises because he’s constantly bumping into things. He can’t resist kicking or hitting his brother for no reason or without warning. Though he does have some fine motor skill delays that might be contributing to the eating issues, I really don’t think that’s it. His brain and body just never idle. They never turn off. It’s exhausting and embarrassing and I just don’t want to have to deal with it all the time.

So this is my cry for help. Parent of kids with these kind of behaviors, how to you handle it? How do you accept it? What do you do about it?


2 thoughts on “The One Where I Feel Like a Really Horrible Person

  1. I think the fact that you admit how much some of these behaviors bug you shows that you are pretty emotionally healthy.

    Of course that doesn’t make anything better does it? ;D

    Working with your pedi is a good start. You could also seek out a school resource teacher and ask her for ideas.

    Even without a diagnosis, this book How to Reach and Teach ADD/ADHD Children is a fantastic resource.

    Mama to a kid with Ds and a kid with ADHD.
    @ParkerMama on Twitter

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