Finding Friends

Sometimes I’m afraid that his parents and brother are the only friends Max will have. I know it’s awful but I have visions of him being the kid in school that is considered weird because he never stops talking or asking questions. Because he can’t ride a bike or run or play baseball like everyone else. Even now, in preschool, it’s clear there are kids who just don’t want to sit next to him or play with him and it breaks my heart. My question to other moms who have kids with special needs…how do your kids make friends? And along the same line, how do YOU as a mom make friends?

I’ve yet to find my space in life where I fit in. In high school I never felt smart enough or athletic enough. Granted I made a few good friends through the one dorky activity I was involved in and loved (band!), in fact I married one of them. In college and my early twenties I didn’t party enough. And now, I’m a mom and I still can’t find the right group. When Max was a baby I didn’t fit in the mom’s groups because I wasn’t breastfeeding and was planning to go back to work. Then he started having seizures and had vision issues and my best friends became Max’s therapists. I felt completely isolated. We have managed to become friendly with some families through Ben’s child care experience, but they usually have one child and don’t quite “get” the two kid family dynamic (especially with one child so demanding of time and attention). I know I have a lot to overcome and probably put out the “oh, you don’t really want to be friends with me anyway” vibe . I’m working on it, I really am. I’m tired of being lonely. But for right now, even though I desperately long for a break, Max and I are attached at the hip. Two misfits who at least have each other.

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